I’ve had a lot of time to sit and reflect since my last blog. Basically, the past few years have been “doing too much”. There has been too much turmoil, change, and activities.
There are three large changes happening in my life right now: My father is getting re-married. I am moving two weeks before the wedding date. This is due an amicable decision between my wife and I to separate. All three have their happy and sad parts.
My focus has been the continuation of the decluttering I started earlier this year, locating a place that would allow me to keep my dogs (one of which being on the “restricted breed” list), packing, getting my finances in order, and purchasing things I will need to start my own household.
However, I’ve still made the time to continue to create art. My latest series of candles that are now at the Grounded Goddess in Schenectady speak to me reaching inside myself to pull my spirit up and out of the funk and chaos my life has been in over the past few years.
It’s a grasp to retain power and a good attitude to move forward because not all change is bad. It’s me taking back my life and making conscious decisions of what I will, won’t, and want to do. I hope these resonate with people.
While I never would have expected my father to remarry 14 months after my mother’s death, his fiancée is lovely and she’s a great fit for him. Not only that, he is more alive now than he has been in a long time. I am genuinely happy for them and their future together and am looking forward to their wedding day.
I suppose I saw my separation coming at some point, but I continued to think if we worked on it, it’d all be okay. I also had convinced myself that much of the issues stemmed from me being a solitary, selfish person. However, once we decided to separate and live in different households, a weight lifted. We went back to being friends and having some fun together. This makes the heartache of a separation and a move worth it.
I would not have guessed that 2022 would be so transformative. I would only cause myself suffering to resist the upcoming changes so I decided to just go with it a few weeks ago. Embrace the different. Embrace the weird. Embrace the idea that I’m in my late 30’s, soon to be twice-divorced and single, living in an apartment complex, and having a new step-mother and 5 step-siblings.