The Importance of Space; Creating it and Making it

In this post, I shared that I was figuring out what “focusing on myself” means for me. My therapist had provided me with several examples of what her other clients had been doing and I resonated with quite a few of them, realizing that I was already doing a lot of self-focus rather unconsciously.

I shared my patio space and had made a promise to myself that I’d share the finished product of it. Now, I don’t have everything planted because the weather became chilly again here in New York – but here is generally what I started with:

…and here is my patio as of yesterday evening:

[Complete with one of my dogs!]

Creating this space was symbolic for me. I didn’t have much control over my prior surroundings and looking out onto the dreary, blank slate of my patio made me recognize that I have control now. I can make my own outdoor space exactly as I envision; an eclectic space suitable for my own needs. Somewhere peaceful for me to sip on some wine, snuggle with a dog (or partner) in my chair, read a book, paint some candles, vibe to some tunes, hula hoop…and completely close it off so my dogs can roam in and out.

I didn’t have to ask for anyone’s opinion or move clutter around and out of the way. I didn’t need to ask for help. There was no tension. We all deserve to have a space where we can be completely at peace; that feels ours. I mean this in a physical and emotional way – creating space is crucial to our overall wellbeing. This project was an exercise in independence and trust in myself – trust in my taste, abilities, and journey.

I spent time on Saturday weeding the little garden bed and filling buckets with soil, preparing them for the eventual planting of green beans and herbs. This felt symbolic, as creating a space can mean pulling out some weeds, removing trash, and getting hands dirty. Weeding is necessary, as it nurtures the things we want to grow. Weeding things out of our life is an act of self-care and preservation.

In order to make space for what we want, we have to remove the things we don’t want. This can be physical items or people, or experiences. If we simply let everything in that came at us, kept every note, envelope, gift, idea, relationship, person – we’d run out of physical and emotional space.

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Affiliate links to items shown:

Egg Chair – Amazon. On sale for $299!

Privacy Fencing – Amazon. What you see is double-layered; I needed 8 panels ($41.99 per box of 2).

4″ fencing stakes (necessary) – Amazon. $29.99 for a box of 25; you may not need all 25 but it depends on where and how you are using the privacy fencing.