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We can repeat the same behaviors throughout our lives or we can accept the fact that not all of them serve us. If certain actions or attitudes have only brought us stress, anxiety, sadness or drama – wouldn’t it seem to be in our benefit to try something different?
The behavior that hasn’t served me over the years is the compulsion to “save” other people. To make their lives better; rescue them from whatever crappy situation they might be in. While it made me proud in the moment, it always ended up breaking my heart in the end. My own goals, dreams, and desires were also laid aside and at the end of it all, I was no further ahead that I had been before. If anything, I was a bit diminished. My spirit tired and frayed. What benefit to me is it to continue this behavior?
Another behavior that hasn’t served me was my sad, desperate need for attention in my early-adulthood. I have an ex to thank for this lesson learned in my mid-20’s. He wasn’t wrong about this trait of mine, he just wasn’t nice. However, we can still learn from nasty people and here’s what I saw: I was seeking attention and validation from other people. I wanted everyone to see me; I wanted to be the hottest thing in the room. All of that stemmed from my deep-rooted insecurities that I needed to heal. Since then, I became unconcerned about attention received from people other than my partner. Entertaining outside attention only mucked up my relationships and clouded my focus on the relationship I was in. What benefit to me is it to continue this behavior?
Life moves forward, regardless of our readiness for it. Things change. People come, go, succeed, fail, and change. If we want to grow with it and improve ourselves, it has to come with [sometimes] some ugly realizations and a willingness to move beyond them. A fearlessness to try a foreign path.
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